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Acceptance and Weight Loss
Love Intention: 2015
Conflict
The Island
Conflict and Intimacy

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Acceptance and Weight Loss


"If you put your hand into a fire, does anyone have to tell you to move it? Do you have to decide? No: When your hand starts to burn, it moves. You don’t have to direct it; the hand moves itself. In the same way, once you understand, through inquiry, that an untrue thought causes suffering, you move away from it." Byron Katie 


This has been one of the most influential changes in my life. Started years ago in 1994. It has not erased every problem in my life but practicing a non judgmental stance has been part of the solution to almost every problem I have ever had.

Love Intention: 2015

New Years 2015
 
 
It's been a while since I wrote a blog. Feeling rusty today. It's officially 2015. The holiday trappings are all put away in storage, ready for next year. So much ahead. Trying to stay in the moment.
 
I'd like to set an intention for myself. I read somewhere that the components of effective meditation were the following: intention, attention and non judgment.  A little mixology here, mixing some 12 steps in with meditation, but I do believe also "what you focus on grows".

Conflict

Nothing makes the heart ache more quickly or consistently than conflict with the people you care for and love. Some of us, have learned to ignore the pain of conflict, to pretend it doesn't exist. Others of us, have learned to call it out, confront it, speak our minds.  Most of us, however, have learned some combination of silence, suppression, and confrontation.
 
In a conflict it means that another human being, who we may care about, may not see things the way we do. It may mean that they see the world differently, experience things differently.

The Island

There is a metaphor we use in our DBT groups, called the island. The island is basically a metaphor for disconnection. It is the physical and emotional act of  "not being present",  We can put ourselves "on the island" by being in our head, or getting drunk or buzzed, by isolating or by thinking that we have nothing in common with those around us. We can put ourselves "on the island" by thinking that others don't like us or love us. We can put ourselves on the island by judging ourselves for our clothes, our weight, our hair, our shoes, the food we brought.

Conflict and Intimacy

 
 
 
22301 438130522901140 17134322 n The dialectic of forgiveness
 
 
Thinking more...no one can stay centered all the time. We will all veer off that center point. If we fear conflict, we fear intimacy. If we fear peace, we fear intimacy. Real intimacy develops as we tolerate this dance of imperfection and humanness. It's like mindfulness. The work of mindfulness is not some perfect point of awareness that is maintained at full intensity at all times. It is the dance back and forth, that creates human awareness and perception.

A cup of tea is medicine.

It's November finally in Nebraska. The fall cold swooped out of Canada last night and brought a thin layer of ice to the deck. The roses on my mini rose tree are frozen this morning. Finally the end has come for the last little flowers blooming in the sun.
 
I have been very busy. Very grateful. But busy. When I get too busy I forget to breathe. I forget to pay attention. I end up on a treadmill of returning calls and e mails and lists in my head about what I should do next. All of this is sprinkled with anxiety as the holidays blare through the minutia of my day to scream "THERE IS SO MUCH MORE TO DO!

Birthdays and Velveteen Rabbits

A few words on my birthday:
 
I love this quote from the Velveteen rabbit. In those few paragraphs below are perhaps the most important lessons about love. What's funny to me, is how my ideas about love have changed since I was young. It strikes me that this quote that used to make me sad, now makes me happy. See the quote below.
 
I am sitting in the dark, long before the sun has risen, listening to 70's music. The songs from my youth. Back when love was about "being loved", "adored".

Peace in politics, politics in peace? YES.

As the political waters churn, as people you love turn into rabid emotionally dysregulated perveyors of fear, know this. Truth, will be what it is regardless of what happens politically. Truth. No one knows for certain what tomorrow will bring. We are all guessing about who or what idea will make things better in the future. This is why politics elicits such emotion. It elicits emotion because we are all having to make a "judgment" based on our best information about what this choice or that choice will do to tomorrow.

Easy Like Sunday morning.

This is where I go in my head, to find peace, to find my sanity. It's Sunday morning at our house. Family time. But right now, everyone is asleep. This is my favorite time of the day. Bo Diddley the Enlish Bull Dog is sitting beside me creating war games in his mind about the squirrels and letting out an occasional bark as he contemplates the reality of the battle ahead. Smooth Jazz is on the t.v digital station. NO ADS!! I love digital music. My husband is sleeping in for the first time in over 3 weeks. It makes me happy. He is soooo tired. The kids are both sound asleep as well.

Thought for the day

A quote for the day, what are your thoughts...?
 
 
 
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