Katie Jensen - Company Message
RSS

Recent Posts

Acceptance and Weight Loss
Love Intention: 2015
Conflict
The Island
Conflict and Intimacy

Categories

Ask Katie
Conflict
Love
Love and Acceptance....go together.
Thanksgiving 2012
The first step to change....
Thought for the day
powered by

My Blog

Today I will Drop my illusions

There was a time in my life, when I would have told you with certainty that my husband did not love me. I would have told you that he was not capable of love. I would have told you that my situation was hopeless because I could not stop loving someone who did not appear to love me.
 
This was an illusion. It was never true. It was me who felt unable to love. It was me who felt that I could not be loved. It was only as I worked my DBT skills that I started to realize that this was a lie. It was a judgment, a story that had become my reality.
 
For whatever reasons, when I was young, I decided that I was not lovable. I decided that I was too obnoxious, spoiled, selfish, self centered and sad to be loved. I could prove it by the fact that I was certain that my brother was more loved than I. I could prove it by my parents anger at me when I couldn't do my math. I could prove it by my siblings anger at me. I could prove it by the difficulties that crossed my path as a teenager. I began collecting the evidence that would support my story.
 
On it went. The first husband who worked all the time. This was clear evidence that I would not be loved. Then falling in love with my current husband, an alcoholic was proof that I could not be loved. It seemed so obviously true. So solidly true. I just kept collecting that information that would support my thesis and I could not see beyond my "story".
 
Until, I learned more about how to practice a non judgmental stance. As I began to question my "story". I realized that it could not be a fact. It could not be true. And as I changed my story, my life changed with it.
 
This morning, my husband was on his way to work. He came over to kiss me good bye. We held each other and he rubbed his cheek against mine. He said "I love you. You are a good woman to put up with someone like me. You are beautiful". This would not have happened 15 years ago. If he said it, I would not have heard it, or appreciated it or "felt it". Today. I felt it. I felt grateful and loved. Not because of him, but because I removed the obstacles that would keep me from love.

16 Comments to Today I will Drop my illusions :

Comments RSS
Linda on Wednesday, October 03, 2012 8:42 AM
can you please explain what obstacles you had that was keeping you from love? And how they affected. I really what to explore what mine are and what tools/skills do I need to use to expose them. The older I become the more important it is to me to see it, feel it... to be it.
Reply to comment


Linda on Wednesday, October 03, 2012 8:44 AM
ps and NOT MISS IT
Reply to comment
 
Mulberry Handbags on Wednesday, June 19, 2013 2:55 AM
I have heard good things about blogengine.net. Is there a way I can transfer all my wordpress content into it? Any kind of help would be greatly appreciated!


Katie on Sunday, October 07, 2012 7:25 AM
Linda, the obstacles of love are the judgments, the template that we project onto the world. The set of beliefs that we learned as children about love. Those lessons learned, those interpretations set a course for the kind of love we experience in life. Once we realize that the path way to changing our template is confronting our judgments, our thoughts about love, we are free to begin changing the way we experience love. There is nothing that cannot be undone because the path we are on, is one of truth. Truth is solid, it will be what is is till the end of time. The trick is to see where our thoughts, and beliefs occasionally alter the truth in our mind. As our beliefs change our experience of love, we find misery, fear, obstacles. Practice a non judgmental stance. Count your judgments today!
Reply to comment


r4 nintendo ds lite on Friday, May 24, 2013 4:41 AM
Thanks for sharing
Reply to comment


buy r4ds on Friday, May 24, 2013 4:43 AM
Thanks for sharing
Reply to comment


Replica Porsche Design watches on Thursday, June 13, 2013 8:45 PM
Thanks for your publication; wild style. Many thanks sharing your article.
Reply to comment


Replica Versace watches on Thursday, June 13, 2013 8:46 PM
Thanks for your publication; wild style. Many thanks sharing your article.
Reply to comment


underbust corset on Saturday, June 15, 2013 3:05 PM
I like this article, written in very good, praise! Thanks!
Reply to comment


birdal corset on Saturday, June 15, 2013 3:07 PM
I like this article, written in very good, praise! Thanks!
Reply to comment


nfl jerseys outlet on Wednesday, June 19, 2013 5:14 AM
buy cheap elite nfl jerseys online. Buy Customized jersey Online Now!
Reply to comment


Nfl Jerseys Youth Sizes on Wednesday, July 24, 2013 9:29 PM
Nfl Jerseys Youth Sizes
Reply to comment


http://zgarnij200pln.cba.pl/ on Sunday, February 09, 2014 12:52 PM
Very nice site
Reply to comment


big face watches on Wednesday, February 04, 2015 8:25 PM
whoah this blog is magnificent i like studying your articles Stay up the good paintings You know many individuals are searching round for this info you could help them greatly
Reply to comment


www.closingtag.net on Wednesday, August 10, 2016 12:13 AM
I could prove it by the fact that I was certain that my brother was more loved than I.
Reply to comment


www.essayprime.co.uk on Thursday, October 26, 2017 7:56 AM
You really make it seem so easy along with your presentation however I find this topic to be actually one thing that I think I would never understand. It sort of feels too complex and very huge for me. I'm having a look forward for your subsequent put up, I will try to get the dangle of it! Great site!
Reply to comment

Add a Comment

Your Name:
Email Address: (Required)
Website:
Comment:
Make your text bigger, bold, italic and more with HTML tags. We'll show you how.
Post Comment
Website Builder provided by  Vistaprint