"If you put your hand into a fire, does anyone have to tell you to move it? Do you have to decide? No: When your hand starts to burn, it moves. You don’t have to direct it; the hand moves itself. In the same way, once you understand, through inquiry, that an untrue thought causes suffering, you move away from it." Byron Katie
This has been one of the most influential changes in my life. Started years ago in 1994. It has not erased every problem in my life but practicing a non judgmental stance has been part of the solution to almost every problem I have ever had. "You cannot change what you don't accept." I spent the last 2 years working on acceptance of myself, my weight and my relationship with food. I once lost 100 lbs because I quit eating for 3 months. But I knew nothing really about myself and food at the time. This time, instead of focusing on weight loss (not in the here and now, future oriented eating, instead of here and now eating) I have spent my time focused on awareness. How my body really feels. Food is not my enemy. My body is not my enemy. If I hate the way I look or feel, I am out of sync with reality. I am judging and evaluating instead of observing and accepting what is. I accepted how I felt and through acceptance...this has been the crazy part, change happened. When the tears came and my judgements about myself and food, about my body, about feeling safe in the world, we're finally addressed with truth, changes began to occur smoothly and easily. Love and caring, self nurturing replaced denial. I didn't have to do anything but accept the truth about my relationship with food. And for many this is the hardest truth to accept. Dieting only covers up and hides the truth. There is only one true path to weight loss. It is acceptance and love. And, this is the way out of every compulsive behavior. We must stop judging. We must decide to put truth before all else. We will never have a perfect relationship with truth because the truth, like God, is not always within our grasp. But seeking truth...is a choice. If we are burdened by judgments, taught to us as children and followed blindly through life, the results of these judgments will be present in our outcomes. You can look at these judgment because they are entwined and part of every perceived problem. They become part of what happens to us in life. If our map is flawed with respect to the truth, we end up in places we did not intend to go.
How do we learn to replace reality with these flawed maps? Why would we believe things that are not true? This affliction related to the truth is born out of a paradigm of power and control. Power and control is the root of our problem with truth. Power and control is circumventing the truth with man or human made made punishments. It's a way that we impose our reality on others to control them. The result is, a distortion of truth. Power and control is imposing your reality on someone else in an effort to control them. When someone imposes their reality on you through yelling, punishment, pain and anguish interpretations of what is happening become distorted. The laws of nature are replaced by will. That's why we are always trying to use will power, instead of acceptance. We internalize the power and control. This is how we are taught will power. We learn to control our world instead of accepting and living in congruence with the way the world is. Self will run riot. Yes!! We are taught self will run riot through the use of power and control. And when we replace self will, the distortions of power and control, with truth and acceptance of what is....we can finally see the solution to our problems. We finally can see the path to peace, we can see that there is truly only one solution. The only solution is to live in harmony with truth. God is truth and the truth sets us free. The minute you replace self will, imposed judgments with the the truth...that is the minute you begin to change. One more thought before I end my Sunday morning stream of consciousness. This is why, love is so powerful. This is why love will always trump and trounce power and control. Love is acceptance. It is the bond, within the truth. If both truth and love exist in harmony...if we maintain constant contact with that which truly controls our behavior (the universe, biology, physics or God that is represented in truth) our outcomes can only be more universally effective. Our lives are a constant dance with what we truly can control (our search for truth) and that which we cannot control. Truth and love go together and when in harmony can change us in the most harmonious and congruent ways.